Music To Wash Vegetables

“Yeah, it’s like EDM. It has to be sung though. You down?”

I know nothing about EDM. I consider myself a way below average lyricist. So naturally, I take the gig.

Fast-forward a few days. Contract arrives, I sign, I’m set. Let’s write.

But HOW?

Let’s do the music first. At least I don’t suck at that.

I scan through random references online. Binge on YouTube like there’s no tomorrow. Rihanna, Ellie Gould, Avicii, Pitbull – that “related videos” list is getting POUNDED. I take no hostages.

I make a KILLER beat. I’m gonna be the next Tiesto. I kill.

I listen to it the morning after. It sucks. Worthless.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

About a week later, I manage to make a half decent track. Beer ensues.

I have never thought of myself as a lyricist. I may write prose, I may write comedy, but lyrics? No man. That shit is too personal. That’s why I use notes ­- so no one knows.

I know my creative process. I need to find something that I care about way more than the fear of writing words to a song. Being broke helps but it’s surprisingly not enough.

I set out to use comedy, my greatest ally. I will write funny lyrics. But it must be a secret. This music is supposed to be serious. Let’s go.

I’m making breakfast. An omelette. I chop some tomatoes. I chop an onion. It hits me. I’ll write about the onion. I’ll write about the pain of the onion. 
I’ll write about a masochist onion that loves to be sautéed. I’ll call it: “Cut Me Deep”.

I’ve found a system, you guys. I have it. I’m a lyricist. Probably not a good one, but at least one that has fun.

Cut Me Deep

Cut me with your blade

Slice me open everyday

Don’t pretend you’re crying

I know you like to play this game

Take away my layers

Cut me open once again

Don’t pretend you’re crying

You know I like to play this game

You’re cold

You’re like steel

You cut

My skin deep

It’s hot

I’m burning

I love

How this feels

Will you cut me again with your blade

Will you thrown me again in the heat

Cuz I know that the pain will soon fade

And I like when it burns me so deep

Will you do do this again tomorrow

Will you cry while I burn in the flame

Yeah I know that the fire will go low

Cut me deep and then burn me again


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